In the end,it doesn't even matter

After all's been said and done, I'm still a lonely and extremely depressed person.

Even though I don't really know what has caused this, something tells me it may have been an incident from the past that has shattered all my hopes of ever becoming normal again.

Calming moments I have but seldom truly happy moments. Alcohol is still my temporal refuge from it all.

But there's really nothing for me to be depressed about what. Right?

In a way I agree. On the surface everything's fine. But deep down inside, that's where the madness is.

Everyone has his or her own problems and experiences that have moulded them into the people that they are today. There's no such thing as you problem being worse then mine or my problem being worse then yours. It all comes back down to one thing -- we all have problems.

My problem has always been (and trust me I am so NOT bragging about this), men. Besides my dad and bro, most of the other men I have met give me more problems then solutions. Heck! Some even demand to be treated like princesses! I shouldn't be envied. It's nothing to be envious about really. Because it was these fucked up men who wrecked havoc in my life and now it's just so hard to let my guard down even in front of the nicest,sweetest,genuine fella in the whole wide world. My defence comes up and I don't hesitate to question,threaten and back out of a scenario that involves a man.

And when I say question, I don't mean no go-around-in-one-big-circle-and-get-you-to-guess-what-I'm-trying-to-tell-you question. I mean I'll-say-it-in-your-face-and-you-better-have-a-damn-fucking-good-answer-and-explanation-for-me-or-you-should-be-smart-and-get-the-fuck-out-of-my-face question.

Basically I don't give chances coz I don't think stupid people should be given chances. Coz they are just stupid and no amount of lecturing will teach them anything.

But the purpose of this post today is to tell the world I'm an emo bitch and a depressed one too.

Tolora