Startled

My day started with a jerk.

No I don't mean man jerk. I mean I literally woke up with a startle.

I was jolted awake by a dream of my late grandma. It's quite amazing how much I remember about it though. In my dream, I was with all my paternal relatives and we were back at her old place at Margaret Drive. I saw a younger version of my grandpa and her and she was running up the stairs to get something. But even though she was right there in front of us, we were all crying and feeling emotionally overwhelmed because we knew she is already gone. Then suddenly it cuts to the part where we were at the dining table and my relatives wanted me to prepare some food stuff for them. I couldn't get it done even with my brother's help and I got irritated coz no one else offered to help so I muttered CCB under my breath, not knowing that my grandma was just walking behind me. As soon as I said that, my grandma repeated it out loud and I saw a look of shock on my mum's face. My grandma, however, just laughed it off and said my chinese name as she use to do. I could hear her voice clear as crystal.

That's when I jolted out of my dream and into reality. I found myself tearing. It was 6.30am. I felt overwhelmed and started crying. It was only at 7am that I managed to get back to sleep.

Tomorrow will mark the 100th day since her passing. I can't believe I dreamt about her today, just 1 day before her 100th day. Probably this time, she has really come to say goodbye for the very last time.

I miss her so damn much.

Tolora