Slowly learning to love

This cycle just goes on and on forever doesn't it?

Grrrr~~~

Well hopefully the buck stops here. It's getting tiring trying to stay focussed in the fast lane all the time. Sometimes that fella up there has got to realize just how human we are and not keep wanting us to achieve so much when he's not even willing to part with a few more hundred years for us.

On the bright side, things seem to be picking up. Work's still crazy(almost ALL my weekends are burnt!), BUT! My tenderer aspect of life is looking rosy. At least I HOPE it's gonna stay this way for awhile...shall attempt not to wallow in self pity again. I think Cupid may have finally opened his damn eyes.

Was at a friend's place last night and was watching her wedding video. Crazy how a couple meet and how they fall in love and decide to spend their lives with each other. I love seeing how happy people are when they are in love and about to make a vow to spend the next few lifetimes with each other. The bitterer side of me however will then make a grand entrance and exclaim,"What the hell is so good about getting married? This paper isn't gonna guarantee you a lifetime of happiness ya know. For all you know it may just be your one way ticket to hell!"

Yes, totally dark, I know. But ever since Kel...nevermind. I shall stop at that. He, or it, makes my blood boil. Bleddy liar.

Don't get me wrong though. I'm still gonna get married. Haha....

And then the part came when her grandma entered the scene and the look on her face just made mey eyes well up with tears. I was fighting so hard to hold back my emotions. During the last wedding I attended, I commented,"I hope my grandma will still be around to see me get married."

Alas. It's not meant to be. I was ranting a little to my cousin last night about it and he said,"oh man here you go again..." I don't wanna be this way too what but I just can't help it.

Am entirely stuck on Bruno Mar's "Liquor Store Blues" right now. Totally describes how I was back then. Guess what? I'm off smokes and too much alcohol! Yayy!! Thing is, I got high on Friday night with just 2 drafts of beer.

How's that for high alcohol tolerance? -Pengz-

Tolora