I thought I should be feeling happier after doing what I did.

But I'm nowhere close to feeling that way.

Feel so uninspired. Everyday,just to make myself not think about him,I struggle to immerse myself in work till I cannot breathe anymore. I don't know why it's so difficult for me to get over him,even though I was the one who brought up taking a break first.

Everytime I think of the fact that he's now single and available and open to another woman just kills me. I keep hoping upon hope that he'll keep his promise of meeting me for RWS one of these days after he starts work at Hong Thai. I keep hoping that when we do meet,he'll tell me that he still loves me and still wants to be with me afterall.

Bottomline is,I still want the guy.

So much so I've probably closed out my heart to another.

Which makes me question myself over and over again. Why am I feeling this way? Why am I allowing myself to be like this for a guy? He's probably having the time of his life now without me while here I am wallowing in dirt.

I'm upset and I admit it. Every single time I'm alone I think of him and the possibility of us getting back together. I sometimes sit up nights and think about him.

Hurts man. It hurts so bad. Tell me what to do....please....before I go crazy thinking about him.

Signing off,
Tolora